Loge Level

Every other journalist in the United States has sounded off on David Beckham’s arrival in Major League Soccer, so we shouldn’t have been too surprised to see his name pop up in this week’s edition of Dr. Z’s NFL Mailbag at SI.com. And considering nearly every old-guard sportswriter has denigrated Beckham, MLS, the sport, or all three, we shouldn’t have been surprised by Dr. Z’s decision to do so, too.

But does that mean it’s too much to ask that a writer of Dr. Z’s experience have at least an understanding of irony?

Here’s the good doctor’s take on Becks’ arrival:

[F]rom Jonas of San Francisco comes this question that all Americans must take seriously:

“Should the NFL be worried about MLS as competition now that Beckham has arrived? I mean, they do have a team in L.A., which the NFL can’t seem to do.”

You’re almost right there, Jonas. Except that the place they have chosen in which to showcase the Big B is Carson, Calif. And didn’t you read how the crowd of 27,000 in the Home Depot Center absolutely went wild, even though his team, the Galaxy, lost, 1-0.

“They got drilled,” My Flame Queen said. OK, honey. Let’s remember who tells the jokes around here. The serious part is that Hollywood turned out in a big way. I can see it now.

“Driver … driver … I believe you’ve driven right by Carson. We told you to turn right at the Plumbing Supplies sign.”

OK, ha ha, let’s get serious. Threatening to immediately eclipse Beckham in popularity is the Chicago Fire’s Cuauhtémoc Blanco, whose attributes, according to the AP report of his debut against Celtic AC Sunday, were his “stutter-step dribbles, change of direction and uncanny backward passes.”

OK, so only 15,719 showed up in Bridgeview, Ill., at Toyota Park, but that’s almost capacity, isn’t it?

“Toyota Park?” Linda says. “You think NFL players are tough enough to play a game in a car lot?” That does it. Time to move on.

While we were under the impression that the Los Angeles Galaxy playing in Carson, California, (or the Chicago Fire playing in Bridgeview, Illinois, or the FC Dallas playing in Frisco, Texas, or the New England Revolution playing in Foxborough, Massachusetts, or the New York Red Bulls playing in East Rutherford, New Jersey) was comparable to the New York Jets and New York Giants playing in East Rutherford (or the Dallas Cowboys playing in Irvin, Texas, or the Washington Redskins playing in Landover, Maryland, or the New England Patriots playing in Foxborough).

We must have been mistaken.

And then there’s the Toyota Park jab. Being fans of England’s Premier League, we’ve read more than our share of jokes about the names of MLS stadiums in the English press. (For what it’s worth, Dallas’ Pizza Hut Park, the Galaxy’s Home Depot Center and the Colorado Rapids’ Dicks Sporting Goods Park all attract much more ridicule than Chicago’s Toyota Park.) It’s certainly ironic that a nation that sees nothing funny about shirt-sponsors and turns a blind eye toward tradition-rich grounds like the Reebok Stadium, Emirates Stadium, and the JJB Stadium, amongst others, would find MLS’ corporate-themed stadiums hilarious.

And it’s doubly ironic for Dr. Z to take issue with Toyota Park given that he makes his living writing about athletes who play at [pause for deep breath] Qwest Field, Monster Field, McAfee Coliseum, Invesco Field, Qualcomm Stadium, Reliant Stadium, the Edward Jones Dome, the RCA Dome, Ford Field, Heinz Field, LP Field, Raymond James Stadium, Bank of America Stadium, FedEx Stadium, M&T Bank Stadium, Lincoln Financial Field, Gillette Field, and (we saved the best for last) the University of Phoenix Stadium [and exhale].

Perhaps next week’s mailbag will explain the inherent comedic value of ‘Toyota Park’. Or maybe The Flaming Redhead can simply give us a hilarious one-liner about each corporate stadium. That would be enough material for a whole column.

(And, yes, the question that prompted Dr. Z’s take on MLS was ridiculous. We love the league and the sport, but MLS doesn’t compete with the NFL. Major League Baseball and the National Basketball Association don’t compete with the NFL. It’s simply in a league of its own.)

For the next few weeks these two British Imports will be vying for our attention. Because of this Loge Level has decided to match up the two and choose which will most likely be the most successful.

Earnings

Beckham - $250,000,000
This is the reported value of Beckham’s new contract which runs for five years.

Harry Potter -1000 Galleons
Harry won this money by winning the Tri-Wizards tournament.  The amount is roughly equivalent to $5000 (Link)

Major edge here to Beckham 

Number 7

Beckham - Jersey Number

Harry Potter - 7 Books

Edge - Push

Best Friend

David Beckham - Gary Neville

Harry Potter - Ron Weasley

Edge - Harry Potter - While Neville is a solid defender its impossible to pick against Ron Weasley who’s loyalty and Wizard Chess skill has contributed directly to Harry’s success. 

Movies

David Beckham - Bend it Like Beckham and Goal! Trilogy

Harry Potter - 5 Movies so far

Edge - Potter - While we can think Beckham for introducing us to Keira Knightley that is still not enough to compete with the Potter movie franchise.  Which just this week set a new record for a Wednesday opening. (Link)

Best known for

David Beckham - His right foot

Harry Potter - Living

Edge - Beckham - This category has to go to Beckham.  There is no denying that his ability with his right foot has come from years of practice and refinement.  This is in contrast to Potter who greatest achievement was simply living.  A point driven home by this Slate story.

Nemesis

Beckham - Diego Simeone (Famous for getting Beckham sent off in the 1998 World Cup)

Potter - Voldemort

Edge - Potter - Beckham obviously has a legit complaint with Simeone but its nothing compared to Voldemort killing Harry’s Parents. 

Girlfriend/Wife

David Beckham - Posh

Harry Potter - Ginny

Edge - Push - Initially this would look like a winner for Beckham, but has Posh’s star has been fading Ginny’s has been on the rise.  Given a strong showing in book  7 this category could eventually swing to Potter. 

Lego Representation

Beckham Key Chain

Harry Potter

Edge - Potter -The Beckham key chain is pretty cool, but its no match for the entire Harry Potter line of toys. 

Role Model

David Beckham Gets kids on the soccer field and off the couch.

Harry Potter - Gets kids to read

Edge - Push

Winner 

And the winner is Harry Potter.  No matter how successful David Beckham is in bringing soccer to the masses it is unlikely that he could ever have the cultural impact of the Harry Potter franchise.

Good news for the MLS yesterday as their future top attraction David Beckham returned to the field for the first time in over 6 weeks.  The future Los Angeles Galaxy midfielder had been sidelined with a knee injury.  In his return for Real he set up the winner after coming on as a second half sub (ESPN Match Report).

So A4H! has been away for a bit. The list of excuses runs long: work picking up, training a new pup, indoor seasons overlapping, trying to keep fitness-related resolutions, mourning the passing of another football season, and so on. Anyway, no time for that, so let’s get right to it.

–We begin today with A4H!’s beloved Liverpool Football Club. The Mighty Reds were 2-1 winners over West Ham yesterday at Upton Park. This puts a four-point buffer between LFC and Arsenal – who don’t play another league game until Saturday (and by that time ‘Pool could be seven points clear). The win – Liverpool’s ninth out of its last ten league games (A4H! told you talk of a crisis after the cup losses to the Arse was silly, didn’t he?) – closes the gap on second-place Chelsea to a razor-thin two points and cuts ManYoo’s lead to eight points. Of course, both clubs are expected to extend their leads today; Chelsea host Blackburn while ManYoo host Watford, who are bottom of the league. Nevertheless, crazy things can and do happen in the beautiful game. And who doesn’t want to see a three-horse title race? Come on Watburn! Come on Blackford!

And no, A4H! certainly didn’t forget that the transfer window will slam shut today. The Reds have been in the thick of that, too. Today’s big news is that FIFA have given ‘Pool the green light to sign West Ham’s Argentine midfielder Javier Mascherano (hereinafter Mash or Monster Mash, for spelling-related reasons and as a nod to ol’ No. 24) [Link]. I’ve got a couple of thoughts on this. First, it doesn’t bother me in the least that FIFA waived it’s silly rule about not allowing a player to compete for more than two teams in the same season (the Mash turned out for Brazilian club Corinthians in July and West Ham this EPL season). Maybe I’ll feel different if fans of other English clubs or big European clubs can provide an example of lining up a player, and then being unable to sign the player because of this rule. But I haven’t heard of such a situation. Second, I also don’t mind that the Mash was a massive flop for the Hammers. I saw him play this summer for Argentina in the World Cup and he was good. The player has quality, there’s no disputing it. Whether he can shine in England is certainly a valid question, but Liverpool will provide a better opportunity than West Ham for him to prove it. (Scary thought: if he does come good, how does Liverpool accommodate the Mash, Gerrard, Alonso and Sissoko? Let’s cross that bridge when we come to it, shall we?) Also, it should be noted that the deal for Mash isn’t official yet.

Today’s other big Liverpool news is that Dubai Investment Capital’s proposed takeover of the club off. DIC have ended negotiations after the club rejected their offer yesterday. [link] The club is analyzing a rival offer from US businessman George Gillett, who owns the National Hockey League’s Montreal Canadiens (yes, the NHL is still around, no, I don’t know what channel Versus is, yes, A4H! sees the irony in a soccer fan poking fun at the NHL’s irrelevancy). As A4H! sees it, there must be something the public doesn’t know about this. The DIC offer seemed almost too good to be true. DIC promised to wipe out existing debt, fund the building of a new stadium, and provide a sizeable transfer kitty. If you’re going to go down the road of selling out to foreign investment (which is a whole other topic best addressed in another post), DIC seemed like the perfect partner. Gillett’s offer, on the other hand, didn’t provide as much financial information and proposed a ground share with Everton. I don’t know what to make of it, but perhaps the DIC offer really was too good to be true?    

–Let me throw in some other Yanks Abroad EPL news: Brian McBride won’t be coming back to MLS this year. He signed an extension with Fulham. Can’t say that I blame him. I would have loved to have seen him back in the States, but this year he’s been the best player on a team playing in perhaps the best league in the world. Why would you walk away from that? … Status Quo’s favorite Yank, Clinton Deuce “What it do?” Dempsey, completed his move to Fulham and has already turned out three times for the Cottagers, though he’s yet to start. In his debut, Deuce fanboys report that he executed the bestest backheel ever! … Oguchi Onyewu finally got his Premiership move. He was linked with loads of clubs, and if you believe his agent, turned down moves to Fulham, Middlesboro, and Real Madrid (which one doesn’t look like the others?), but ended up signing on loan with Newcastle United. He should see plenty of time there as they don’t have a decent center back. It’s a big (perennially underachieving) club with plenty of resources, so Gooch certainly has a shot at success. Best of luck to him with the Barcodes!

–And now for something completely different. A4H! is in the process of writing a cheesy, clichéd sports movie script (is there any other kind?) about a rag-tag soccer team who enter the Lamar Hunt US Open Cup and, against all the odds, progress all the way to the finals. When they get there, they’ll face David Beckham’s Los Angeles Galaxy. (There’s no question that his people will give this the OK. Simon Cowell will love it.) We’re in the developmental stages right now, but so far I know this: (1) the team’s best player has to be a Johnny Foreigner who speaks little to no English; (2) there will be a sweet montage scene where the team gets it all together; (3) there will be some bending of the soccer ball; (4) there will be a fat kid and said fat kid will likely be hit in the groin area at least once; (5) all this movie needs to be a sure fire hit is one of the Frat Pack to star – paging Vince Vaughn, the Brothers Wilson, Will Ferrell, Ben Stiller, and Steve Carell. 

–That’s it for today. But I hope to offer my take on the Basketball Wildcats and Super Bowl XLI (by the way, if you’re scoring at home, both of A4H!’s picks made it) by the end of the week.

Onward and upward!

The 31-year-old former England captain - who two weeks ago signed a £127 million deal with the LA Galaxy soccer club - appears with singer Beyonce Knowles, country star Lyle Lovett and actors Scarlett Johansson and Oliver Platt in the Disney campaign. (Daily Mail)

Blare the Neil Diamond. Queue up Eddie Murphy and Arsenio Hall.

Becks is coming to America.

The 31-year-old Real Madrid midfielder announced today that he won’t be signing a new contract at Madrid, or with any other European club, and will be joining Major League Soccer’s Los Angeles Galaxy in August of this year. According to which Web site you visit, he’s signed a five-year deal worth somewhere between 200 and 256 million US dollars.

You read that right, MLS – the league that caps each of its teams’ salaries at about $1.9 million – could be paying David Beckham about $50 million per year. But really, it isn’t. The figures being thrown about in the media reports include the projected value of Becks’ image rights, which are estimated to earn him between $30 million and $44 million annually (A4H!’s boyish good looks earn shockingly less). It’s reported that he splits that figure 50-50 with Madrid. To entice him to sunny SoCal, Anshutz Entertainment Group – LA Galaxy’s owner – is believed to have given Becks total control of his sponsorships and off-the-pitch deals. So, if you take away the $200-$220 million Becks may earn through his image rights, AEG is paying him $15-$36 million over five years. That’s still a ton of money – remember the $1.9 million cap I noted – but $36 million is much more reasonable than $256 million.

Now that that’s out of the way, A4H! presents today’s featured article: Why A4H! Loves the Beckham Deal!

First and foremost, it’s a PR bonanza. Now, I’m no MLS basher or Euro snob. To the contrary, I’m pretty much the only person I know here in the Athens of the West who watches it regularly. But today, MLS is everywhere. It’s the top story on ESPN.com and was a lead story on CNN’s site. It even made the Drudge report. That’s pretty much never happened for MLS. [Quick aside: whoever at MLS HQ decided to report the $250 million figure and not the base salary figure deserves a promotion. While certainly misleading, the ridiculous figure means this is undoubtedly front-page news.]

Second, the attendance spike. Sure, many of these people will only go once for curiosity’s sake, but many of them will come back a second time. No doubt MLS diehards – trust me, these people do exist, there just aren’t very many of them – are already cringing at the thought of the Soccer Moms U11s screaming every time Becks gets near the ball. But I’ll take a stadium packed with kids and casual fans over one where the empty seats outnumber the spectators anytime.

Along with the attendance spike, expect a TV ratings spike. For the first time in the league’s 11-year history, ESPN is now paying for the rights to broadcast MLS games. You can bet the Beckham rumors were part of the reason the people in Bristol made the deal. He’ll certainly give ESPN something to promote, and ESPN certainly excels at promoting leagues it has contracts with.

Although I’ve talked exclusively about how Becks’ arrival will influence matters off the pitch, he’ll have an impact on the pitch, too. Beckham’s career has come full circle from his nightmare sending off against Argentina at the 1998 World Cup. In the wake of the tournament, he was England’s public enemy No. 1. But the scorn turned to praise and adulation as he led England through qualification for the 2002 World Cup and, once there, scored the penalty that sent Argentina – England’s archenemy in international football – crashing out of the tournament.

Beckham fever was at an all-time high from the summer of 2002 through the summer of 2003, when he was transferred from England’s Manchester United to Spain’s Real Madrid. But his career has been on the decline since. Madrid won nothing during the 2003-04 season and have won nothing since. At Euro 2004, Becks captained England but missed two crucial penalties as England were knocked out in the quarterfinals. And he was made the scapegoat for England’s 2006 World Cup flop. After the tournament, he handed in the captain’s armband, and new England manager Steve McClaren has refused to name Beckham in the England squad. His new boss at Madrid, Fabio Capello, has used Beckham sparingly and primarily as a substitute this season.

What to make of this rise and fall? To paraphrase Dennis Green, Beckham is who we thought he was. That is, the player the British press is slating as past it in January 2007 is pretty much the same player they declared a national treasure in 2002. It’s bizarre to think that, in the span of five years, Becks went from being the most overrated player on the planet to perhaps the most underrated player on the planet.

Beckham can’t dance past defenders with a mixture of speed and grace like Chelsea’s Arjen Robben or Manchester United’s Cristiano Ronaldo (that was for you, Status Quo). He isn’t a creative ball wizard like Barcelona’s Ronaldinho or his former Madrid teammate Zinedane Zidane. He can’t play the roll of midfield destroyer like Chelsea’s Claude Makelele or Liverpool’s Momo Sissoko. Then again, he was never any of these things. He wasn’t in 2002 and he isn’t in 2007.

So what does Beckham bring to MLS? The same qualities he’s always had. He remains a great crosser of the ball, he can still strike a dead ball as well as anyone, and he still works as hard as any midfielder in the game. Combine this with the facts that he’s the most well-known soccer player in the world and far from over the hill at 31, and A4H! says that Beckham’s arrival is fantastic news for MLS and US soccer.

One final thing: I don’t think his arrival is just about the money. His critics will says he would rather settle for a big payday than try to cut it in one of Europe’s premier leagues. And, obviously, with control of his image rights, he stands to make much more in MLS than he would in Europe. But he had nothing left to prove by staying in Europe. He had already played for two of its biggest clubs, and he’s already won everything at club level. What else could he prove by returning to England and signing for a club like Bolton or West Ham? Or by going to Italy, where Milan and Inter were reportedly interested in his services?

By coming to America, he takes on an entirely different challenge. He’s here to make soccer something more than a niche sport. If he does that, he’ll succeed where the game’s greatest legends — names like Pele, Cruyff, and Best — failed. It’s as much about ego as it is about money.

A few random items relating to previous posts.

-It looks like A4H’s dream is about to come true. Today David Beckham announced he is coming to the US. (Fox Soccer)

-The NBA is reporting that the new Kobe Bryant jersey is once again its best seller.  It might be a good time to unleash the 24/8 concept.

-The Murphy 2007 movement came up short.  It’s not looking good for Murphy at the moment as he received only 9% of the votes this year.   However even if Dale never makes it to the Hall I will always remember him fondly because of this cool poster I had when I was a kid.

First, a word on the beating A4H’s beloved Liverpool took from Arsenal yesterday. Again, Arsenal knocked Liverpool out of a cup competition. Again, at Anfield. Again, in humiliating fashion.

But a bit of perspective, please. It boils down to two things: Rafa Benitez doesn’t rate the Carling Cup – even in his first year when we made the final, we got there playing kids – and Arsenal’s reserves are light-years ahead of Liverpool’s. We still finished ahead of them in the league last year, and we’re ahead of them in the table this year. Yesterday’s loss doesn’t change that, just like a win yesterday wouldn’t have magically transformed the club into genuine contenders for the league.

The real news from the match is the injuries to Mark Gonzalez and King Louis Garcia. The former is expected back in six weeks, the latter is gone for the season. Garcia’s loss is a huge blow. [ Objectivity alert! Objectivity alert!: I am the proud owner of a Louis Garcia shirt.] I know many don’t rate him, but his goal-scoring record as a midfielder has been excellent since he arrived, and he’s one of only a handful of players in the squad who can make a goal out of nothing. I’m the first to admit he’s maddeningly inconsistent, but he seems to always perform well in the biggest of matches, especially in Champions League play. And he’s by far the team’s most creative player. He’ll be sorely missed in the upcoming tie with Barcelona.

With that thankfully out of the way, onto the soccer news I want to discuss: Becks and Bake. We’ll take Becks first. The lingering rumors that Real Madrid’s David Beckham will land in Major League Soccer took legs for the fleetest of moments this morning when his club’s sporting director said Becks’ contract would not be renewed. That was news to Beckham, whose camp was under the impression that player and club were still negotiating. Evidently, it was all a big misunderstanding, and negotiations are indeed ongoing. I have a lot to say on Becks’ possible arrival in the States, but I’ll save for when it does or doesn’t happen. (Sneak preview: I want him in MLS. MLS won’t turn into the NASL. He’s still a very good player.)

Now to Bake. The Columbus Dispatch reported today that the Columbus Crew intends to use its designated player spot to bring Brian McBride back to Ohio. [Crash course on what the Designated Player Rule a/k/a the Beckham Rule available here]. McBride plays for Fulham Football Club in England’s Premier League, and will be out of contract at season’s end in May.

I’ll get right to the point: I’m all for this. McBride was the face of the Crew for MLS’ first decade, and he remains the best striker the United States has produced – apologies to Eric Wynalda fanboy CCC. This is a great move on and off the pitch for Columbus.

I know some in Columbus are grumbling about this proposal, arguing that it’s merely a PR ploy, and that, at 34, McBride is past his best. I couldn’t disagree more. Obviously, a big part of the move is generating interest in the club. McBride’s return will do that. He’s the best-known player to ever pull on the Crew shirt. And if he indeed signs, I can say with certainty that I’ll make the three-hour drive to Columbus Crew Stadium more times this year than I did last season.

But suggestions that he’s past it are laughable. He’s been in great form for Fulham so far this season, and he was the fans’ player of the season last year. With his level of fitness and professionalism, he has at least two or three good years left in him (remember that he retired from international football after the World Cup). And maybe I’m a sucker for buying into cheesy sports clichés (who isn’t?), but I expect his leadership and experience to benefit the team, one of MLS’ youngest, particularly the strikers. And I’m not talking merely intangible benefits, I’m talking W/L benefits. A4H! will go on record now and state that if McBride comes to Columbus, the Crew – MLS’ worst team last year – are playoff-bound.

In closing, a word on the Much Maligned Mike Archer. The MMMA is gone, off to pastures that may or may not be greener at North Carolina State University. A4H! wonders if he’s the only one who thinks Commonwealth of Kentucky Wildcats coach GPa ‘Rich’ Brooks might have nudged the MMMA out the door. Of course, if the reports of Archer’s salary are accurate, it looks like it was his decision to go.

On the vacancy, GPa said he’ll announce a hire quickly and that he doesn’t expect a change in defensive philosophy, which indicates he’ll likely be promoting from within. That means, of course, that scratch recruiter and Louisville Icthyornis defensive co-coordinator Mike Cassity probably won’t be making the drive down I-64. For what it’s worth, Cassity has stated that he prefers to stay in Louiville and work with Bobby Petrino’s replacement, Steve Kragthorpe.

And a quick add on: The Wildcats Oompa-Loompa backfield remains intact for 2007. Tailback and punt-returner Rafa Little announced today that he’ll return for his senior season.

Onward and upward!